How To Give More Than You Sell – 5 Reasons To Deliver More

admin - Tuesday, October 30, 2012


What do I mean by this, you may wonder. Well, if you have a product or service, of course you will have a price that makes a fair exchange.  But, you can always give something extra that they haven’t purchased.  It may be something as little as a book mark, a tip, a cuppa, an extra top up or a friend discount, or a follow up call etc. but “always give”.

Why? There are lots of reasons to give freely.  Here are some:
1. It feels good and keeps you energised.
2. You have benefited by the gifts of others and it is very rewarding to ‘pay it forward’.
3. It makes the receiver feel special and valued.
4. From a business point of view, it creates loyalty – people rather buy from people they like, and receiving a gift creates a positive ‘liking’.
5. The Law of Reciprocity means that you will get back as much, or more than you give.
I do it because I focus on service and creating value in the client’s experience.

What is giving really?  I’m talking about giving the gift away, without any expectation of appreciation, thanks, loyalty or benefit to you-literally ‘no strings (or elastic) attached- no ‘end gain’.
This kind of giving is like when you take some things to the Op Shop and no one is at the counter – No one knows you gave – You never get to see who benefits – You never get to see if it has value.  The gift is just left.

How can you always be ready to give?
1. Make a list of at least 5 inexpensive things you can provide that will benefit your clients i.e. little note pads, or quality refreshments.
2. Identify at least 5 tips you could share i.e. time management and money saving tips.
3. Source and purchase the items in point 1 and have them ready.
4. Look for opportunities to give something to every person, it could be just a comment about their grooming or their colour choice.

Trouble shooting:
•       Be careful not to create any time consuming or unnecessary financial burden. Smiles and words are free and powerful.
•       Be careful not to expect something in return, not even gratitude or acknowledgement. Challenge yourself to give anonymously.
•       Some people may be surprised or suspicious.  That’s ok.  Just carry on.

•       Some people don’t know how to receive comfortably. Just carry on. They will get the hang of it if you ‘stay the course’.

Give it a go!

Question from a reader:

“What comes to my mind are concerns about giving compliments (gifts of praise). If the compliment is given to a person who considersrejection themself unworthy, it could make them feel very uncomfortable.

If so, are you really giving a pleasant experience?

I understand that with time, repetition, support and nurturing you can turn this around.

But, how do you overcome the mistrust so that the gift actually makes a difference”?

Deb’s reply:

Great questions and they highlight exactly the last ‘Trouble shooting’ item, so I’ll add,
They will get the hang of it, or NOT“. 

You ask, so that the gift actually makes a difference”? “So that… ‘ is the ‘what if …’ question in disguise.  What do you know about the problem with ‘what if…’?  To use the example of the op shop gift, what if the worker is having a bad day and doesn’t cope with yet another load to deal with? What if they already have too many of the things I have left? What if the worker is old and the bag is too heavy? What if  …? You get the point, I’m sure. I’m creating horror movies in my head and acting as if they are real.  I can’t know what will happen. I can though, watch what happens and I can respond to their response.

Here you’re focused on what they will gain from the gift’? This illustrates ‘attachment to the end gain’. If so, this is not a ‘well-formed outcome’ (you may ask for my article on ‘Well-formed outcomes’ in NLP) and absolutely (sooner or later) will result in frustration on your part.

Beware the questions that you ask. Why? They point your mind in a specific direction and the danger is that “energy flows where the attention goes” (unknown author) and I like to add, “and what you attend to grows”. Your mind will always find an answer or evidence to match your question (you may ask for the article on ‘empowering questions’).

You ask, “Are you really giving a pleasant experience? “ Here is a question, ‘Are you suggesting that I should take responsibility for the experiences of another person’? How could I do that? How many things inside the thoughts of another person would I have to control for that to happen?  That sounds as impossible as trying to control the weather.

Disclaimer: I’m NOT suggesting that we be careless in our giving and gift dangerous or inappropraite things.  What I’m talking about is giving freely and not being concerned if the person choses to hurt or discomfort themself with the gift. Their discomfort may even provide a useful learning opportunity for them to increase their self awareness – only if they chose to do so of course.

However, if I have TRUELY given it to them, it no longer belongs to me – it BELONGS to them. So, it is NONE of my business what they do with it.

Conversely, what will happen when you focus on giving away, letting it be and then responding to what happens?

Response from reader: That is valuable learning for me.
Until now, I had been bothered by an internal debate about taking responsibility for what I can ‘own’ verses the cop out ‘its their problem’.  ‘Attachment to the end gain’ addresses that dilemma.
Thanks, that is clear and clean.

Another reader says: This post is great – timely. I particularly like the practical steps of listing things you can do for clients. I’ll put some thought into making sure my giving is meaningful.